words from a professional...

I am in the midst of reading a very, very good book. (Will share more on that later.) I am only in the third chapter and already my brain is in overload and my heart overflowing. Just like any other wife and mother, I desire to be the best I can be for my family. But the longer I live, the more sin I find within my heart. I have a choice to make every day, then. I can dwell in the sorrow of my sin, or I can rejoice in my redemption from it. Too often I choose the former option and sulk about how I am not like this mother or that mother, how I wish I could be this or be that, etc, etc.
I am not superwoman, and my God and my family do not expect me to be. So why should I? If I am consistently seeking to be like Christ and follow His plan for my life, I will be all I need to be for them.

I mentioned at the end of my last post that I am a professional mother. I am. I am a professional mother because this is the job that God has given me for this season of my life...and really, for the rest of my life. So, if I am going to be a mother for the rest of my life, I might as well be a professional. Thankfully, though, I do not have to waste any money in classes and such. For this job, experience is free. And lucky for me, I am given a wealth of experience 24 hours a day! I will never receive a degree or diploma. There is no honor society or dean's list. And there certainly is no paycheck. And you know what? That's okay. Because when all is said and done, I hope and pray that I was faithful in the job divinely given to me, for it is one that will have an eternal impact for generations to come. So, no, I do not have a paid occupation. But I do have a career. I am not "just" a mother. I am a professional.

ramblings...

Today has been one of those days spent on the couch, almost completely wasted as far as productivity goes. Monday is typically laundry day for me and by this time of the day, I usually have a majority of it done. But it is not. I have spent most of my day on the couch - partly because I have been feeling sick to my stomach for the past few weeks and today was a hard day, and partly because of my 6 week old, who is cranky whenever he is awake and likes to be held. a lot. I don't mind holding him, of course, but would like 10 minutes here or there to switch the laundry...wash a few dishes...pee...think two thoughts put together...anything without instant dissatisfaction from him or his older (2 yr old) brother. Even now, my oldest son is demanding my attention - even though he has received much of my attention of late.
I know I "just" had a baby...but I am tired of that reason. I long for organization and normality. I crave it. I need it. I'm going a bit crazy without it. I used to not be so disciplined. I have worked hard the past few years to change that, and it is now that I have seen the fruits of that labor, for the requirement of flexibility and spontaneity have proven difficult. I am encouraged by it, and I am irritated by it.

I am a professional mother. All of this is in the job requirements.

And I love it. :)

There is so much on my heart and mind, and I don't know where to begin. I have been learning (and being reminded) so much about myself, and about my God. Here are a few things, vaguely summed up:

I am limited. He is not.
I am utterly flawed. He is perfect.
I am weak. He is strong.
I am a sinner. He is a Savior.
I am forever in need of grace. He is faithful, and eager to give it.
I am impatient. He is SO VERY patient.
I am conditional. He offers unconditional love.
I can do nothing on my own to reconcile myself to God. Christ reconciled on my behalf.
I am free. He gave me that freedom.
I have joy. He is the source of that joy.
I am blessed. He is gracious to bless me.

I.am.thankful.